Monthly Archives: April 2017

A bump in the Head

I have just finished reading Liane Moriarty’s What Alice forgot. The story is about a  39 year-old stay at-home-mother of three kids who knocks her head during a spin class and forgets the last decade of her life. Before she transformed into  a-well dressed-thinly emanciated- actually- well-toned and actually physically fit-mom who is overly involved-in her kids after school activities and the surrounding community, Alice Love was a shy-self-concious-29-year-old-who-could not stand-up-for herself. So when she wakes up after that fall, she thinks it is 1998 and she is newly married to her husband Nick love who she loves dearly. The book explores Alice’s emotional state after she learns the facts of her life that she seems to have forgotten such as: She and her husband Nick are about to get divorced, She has three Kids who she doesn’t remember giving birth to, her sister Elizabeth is aloof towards her and apparently she had a very close friend who died tragically and whim she has been grieving albeit with alot of anger.

This story got me thinking, what if I forgot the last ten years of my life? What would it be like? If today I woke up and  my mind is stuck in 2007, what would I feel? Would I be happy? How would I react to the news of what my life has turned out to be now in 2017? Here is a list of those things that would really puzzle me about my life in 2017!

1. I have a job!

 My teaching job! Well my 2007-self is in college, third year trying to finish a Bachelor’s degree in Education. I guess I would laugh at myself for thinking I could conveniently escape the classroom! Something I thought I would do easily ten years ago. Again, jobs are a hard thing to find here in Kenya, so I would be pleasantly surprised at this.

2.I am still single! 

This would be the biggest surprise of my life. Ten years ago, I thought I had all the time in my life,once I finish college, to date and do all that stuff! Little did I know that, men don’t grow on trees and good men at that- with minimal baggage- will be a rare breed in 2017!

3 Those two relationships that have failed.

I think this would be a memory I would wince at when people remind me. The idea that I have tried and failed, that I have not been afraid to put myself out there,  that I had the courage to step out and try, only that it was not successful would be a bitter pill to swallow. 

3. My grandmother

I think I would be saddened by the fact that in 2017, my grandmother is battling memory loss. Ten years ago, she was the epitome of health. Busy regaling me with stories about the village fools.

The sad reality is, nothing much about me has changed in the last ten years, only that I have grown wiser. Unlike Alice who wakes up having forgotten the hatred that she has for her soon to be ex- husband, and awakening to the reality she is dating someone new and one her children have  behavioral problems at school, I would calmly walk back to 2017 without much fear and apprehension.

What if you forgot the last ten years of your life? How would that play out?

Mistresses

Medicine is my lawful wife and Literature is my mistress; When I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other” Anton Chekhov

I tend to think that each of us individuals placed on this earth have split lives; what we normally do and what we actually enjoy doing. The lucky ones are those who have successfully merged what they normally do with what they actually love and adore doing. The other denizens are like me: trying to juggle our wives with our mistresses. Like a man who is cheating, we will leave all the dirty laundry:the soiled shirts, the tantrums,the silences and smelly socks( I really do not know why I have included this one here)to our wives and head over to the mistresses, clean shaven and pristine with a big smile. I really do not know what I am talking about, seriously! And for the few minutes of whatever it is that the man goes looking for in the mistress- adventure-something he feels he cannot find at home,we will bask in those few blissful moments before we head back home. This post is not about men nor mistresses per se. It is about careers or whatnot.

This space here is my little mistress, the second one actually! How much can one be unfaithful? Some of us harbor thoughts of the grandeur of being writers but we do not have the courage nor the fortitude of getting into the trenches of actual writing. We therefore, take a detour to blogging hoping against all hopes that as we explore our thoughts and ourselves, we will finally come up with a strategy to finally write that story that has been pushing to be written.

My wife is teaching- teaching kids how to communicate using a foreign tongue, trying to mold their mother-tongue infested lips and tongues into shape such that they can communicate to the world- never mind that most of them might not see a world outside their village. I take my wife very serious because of course my survival as an individual and my ability to pay my bills depends on my herein performance with my so called wife(no pun intended)

My main Mistress is Literature- like Chekhov. Sometimes I swear to myself that I will leave it for good, but during those nights when the thought of waking up tomorrow and showing up to work plague me endlessly, I crawl onto her shoulders and find the comfort among the many pages that she has to offer. Early this month, in my one of those crazed bouts against my wife, I registered for a very demanding course that will take me(at least) the next three years! I feel overwhelmed. I am second guessing myself and doubting my ability to deal with it but because money( from my wife) has been poured I have to stick with it. I am guessing that my second mistress- this space will suffer a lot but I promise myself and to my mistress here that I will show up regularly and satisfy the need to tell a blank page my thoughts and fears hoping against hope that one person in the vast blog-sphere ocean will read this!
So this is to all of us juggling different mistresses in whichever version and face they come in! May we find the adventure that we are looking for!