Category Archives: discovery

Why I Blog

I have been meaning to revamp this blog. Revamping here means deleting it completely and starting anew. I have been shopping around for someone to revamp it for me unsuccessfully, because honestly, I do not know any shit around here!

It turns out that these IT gurus charge an arm and a leg for doing any work on a blog. I now regret why I walked out of that IT diploma course way back in 2004 and walked into a degree program to learn how to teach grumpy teenagers how to read and write in a language they might never use in their life! I knew I should have stuck with the damn computers!

As I was going through the old posts and rummaging through the WordPress site to see whether I can do the revamping on my own, I began thinking about why this blog exists in the first place. Why did I create it? Did I feel anonymous three years ago and decide to put my life in the public? Or was it vanity? Why do I keep writing here? Why do I keep wishing that I had a better looking blog? and why do I grow restless when week after another week, I cannot come up with a meaningful post?
I knew I wanted to write, but I did not have the gust,the patience and the focus needed to write a full story in whichever form-I think I will have to do it before I die-It is in my to do list.
Here are the top five reasons why I keep worrying about this space:

1. Those few loyal followers
I remember the feeling that I had when a notification came in that someone had followed my blog. I was elated, I was also terrified, would they love what I had written? would they find it trashy? Will they comment? The comments never came but I got one like! Once I stopped doing my happy dance, I realized that someone had liked my writing! That was my motivation for the next post

2. For Introverted Me
I am an introverted 30+ year old who cannot for the life of me interact socially. People freak me out and social places are a NO-NO. Talking to stranger is tantamount to having a tooth extracted. This little space serves as a place where I can talk to myself – probably. It is public but it is also intensively private, like my own cubicle!

3. I cannot stop thinking
when you have so much thoughts whirling in your head and you do not have any place where you can keep them, then a blog would be a safe place to do so, or so I thought. I constantly have these random thoughts that need to be released and where else can I do that other than here?

4. When you read too much…
When you grow up reading too much, you have this inclination to write but if you are cowardly like me, you postpone your writing until one day while you are absentmindedly browsing the internet, you accidentally create a blog and then you are inclined to post into it because you cannot have an empty blog or can you?

5. self discovery
If you are me, and you spent your whole life afraid of your own shadow, afraid to open that door that stands in front of you lest you find out what lurks behind, then a blog- conceived probably because of (pre)mid-life crisis is not a bad idea at all. Here I can absolutely open those doors- eventually that is when I get the courage to do so.

This post was supposed to be about who I am and why I blog. I am not sure whether I have talked about that but who said life is a linear story? I will get there eventually.

Of friends and Buddies

When you are stepping into the real world you are elated, you look forward into the reign of your independence, of the many activities you will engage in and possibly the many friends you will make. For some people, making friends comes easy but for others, it takes time. That is just the way it is. Five years ago, I embarked on a journey that I didnot know where it would take me. Luckily, I had that certain type of fear that propels you to face your biggest challenge or demon. I arrived here, in this strange  land where I never thought I would fit in. I was welcomed and it took me  quite  a while to embrace my new life. When you are in a strange land, some people make it their mission to remind you that you are an alien, an alien in the sense that you do not speak their language or identify with their culture. However, there are other people within the same place who make you feel welcomed, who embrace you within a second and make you feel at home. They constantly prod you to come out of your shell, to look outside the window and see the sunshine beyond the misty horizon of the July Coldness.These are the people whom you celebrate years later when you are no longer a stranger, when you have blended into the landscape and neither the coldness of the weather nor the strangeness of the language remind you of your initial uneasiness.One of those people who welcomed me with open arms is John. I do not remember meeting him on my first day at work, but I do remember the person who introduced me to the people I have come to love and cherish. Well John or Kama if you like is a fun loving guy and soon enough after my hibernation was over, he took me to my first hike together with another stranger in the name of Kerry (even though I prefer Christy). That first trip signalled a friendship that would last through rough seas. Kama made sure that every stranger who arrived here was given the best this place could offer, be it a ride through the forest for a nyamchoma session at Kirasha-Flyover, or just a tour around the dams in the forest, but only if you were in his good graces. Rarely do you ever meet a person who gives all expecting nothing, selfless, considerate and above all someone who truly cares, not because of anything but because it is his nature.

Christy joined me in the strangeness of things. She became a good friend and a shoulder to whine on when life didnot go well. She is a great storyteller and one of those people with the most infectious laugh in the world. Some people are sullen, others have Sunshine in their eyes. Christy has that sunshine that brightens even the most sullen face in the world. She is everything that I am not. She is gracious and courteous, will get along with even the tiniest tweep,I am sullen most of the time, impatient with every one and most definitely not gracious. She has tact, I blurt out my thoughts, but amidst all these differences we found love.

You can call us the three musketeers.If there was a plan to be implemented, Christy  would take care of the  details, Kama would be the implementor and I would be…well I would be there to enjoy the plans!  Someone has to enjoy the outcome of the planning. If there was an excursion, Christy would take care of the food, Kama transport and I the drinks- never mind which types! It was a strange dynamic and of course what brings close friends together is not what they have in common but the dynamism of each member that pulls them together. 

Over the years, these two buddies have stuck in my life through the good and the bad. We have binge-watched series countless times to the chagrin of our neighbours, we have laughed at the idiocies of life. We have drank tasteless wine and once in a while a very good one. We have fought over silly things,we have made plans that were never actualized. Sometimes, we stayed away from each other, sometimes we pursued different things and sometimes life got in the midst of our friendship but in the background, these buddies stand sentinel to the greatest friendship.

Sentinels of friendship

    
Even though we might take different turns and focus on other things like families, careeers, or move to other boring areas of residences without any explanation, we will forever keep the memories we made and the hands we held and the many splendoured things we treasured alive and above all we will treasure eath other.

TreasuresTreasures

This thing is huge, let me try a piece!!
Who will be the first one to dig in?