I have been meaning to revamp this blog. Revamping here means deleting it completely and starting anew. I have been shopping around for someone to revamp it for me unsuccessfully, because honestly, I do not know any shit around here!
It turns out that these IT gurus charge an arm and a leg for doing any work on a blog. I now regret why I walked out of that IT diploma course way back in 2004 and walked into a degree program to learn how to teach grumpy teenagers how to read and write in a language they might never use in their life! I knew I should have stuck with the damn computers!
As I was going through the old posts and rummaging through the WordPress site to see whether I can do the revamping on my own, I began thinking about why this blog exists in the first place. Why did I create it? Did I feel anonymous three years ago and decide to put my life in the public? Or was it vanity? Why do I keep writing here? Why do I keep wishing that I had a better looking blog? and why do I grow restless when week after another week, I cannot come up with a meaningful post?
I knew I wanted to write, but I did not have the gust,the patience and the focus needed to write a full story in whichever form-I think I will have to do it before I die-It is in my to do list.
Here are the top five reasons why I keep worrying about this space:
1. Those few loyal followers
I remember the feeling that I had when a notification came in that someone had followed my blog. I was elated, I was also terrified, would they love what I had written? would they find it trashy? Will they comment? The comments never came but I got one like! Once I stopped doing my happy dance, I realized that someone had liked my writing! That was my motivation for the next post
2. For Introverted Me
I am an introverted 30+ year old who cannot for the life of me interact socially. People freak me out and social places are a NO-NO. Talking to stranger is tantamount to having a tooth extracted. This little space serves as a place where I can talk to myself – probably. It is public but it is also intensively private, like my own cubicle!
3. I cannot stop thinking
when you have so much thoughts whirling in your head and you do not have any place where you can keep them, then a blog would be a safe place to do so, or so I thought. I constantly have these random thoughts that need to be released and where else can I do that other than here?
4. When you read too much…
When you grow up reading too much, you have this inclination to write but if you are cowardly like me, you postpone your writing until one day while you are absentmindedly browsing the internet, you accidentally create a blog and then you are inclined to post into it because you cannot have an empty blog or can you?
5. self discovery
If you are me, and you spent your whole life afraid of your own shadow, afraid to open that door that stands in front of you lest you find out what lurks behind, then a blog- conceived probably because of (pre)mid-life crisis is not a bad idea at all. Here I can absolutely open those doors- eventually that is when I get the courage to do so.
This post was supposed to be about who I am and why I blog. I am not sure whether I have talked about that but who said life is a linear story? I will get there eventually.