REVENGE IS BEST SERVED CHILLED, OR SO MY FRIENDS BELIEVE

Picture this, you are in a loving flourishing( or at least you lied to yourself that it was flourishing)- relationship. You are happy, he is everything that you ever dreamed of since you became aware of boys. He might not be the prince charming you read about in those westernized princess stories, but let’s be fair, there is nothing like a prince charming in the real world but at least he is considerate, shows up at the appointed times, buys the necessary gifts, and yeah, he is alright!
Your relationship is going on well until he stops texting and you frantically try to reach him to no avail. First you assume that he was hit by a speeding motorist (the poor soul) and he might be lying in a hospital bed fighting for his dear life. Then you chide yourself for thinking such grime thoughts about your beau. Then you excuse his behavior by telling yourself that he is busy and he cannot find time to return your calls or texts. Finally you force yourself to face the cold reality that he isn’t responding to your texts and you stop blowing up his phone with your texts and leave him alone. You reason out that if he is serious and he is the a grown-up that he professes to be, he will pick up the phone and call you, better still he knows where to find you. You bask in your own confidence telling yourself that he needs the space and sooner or later he will come back after realizing what a great woman you are!
Only this time round he does not come back and after almost two months, a friend of a friend of his confides in you that he is getting married to another woman! You are a woman of great sensitivity, so you hold your head high and your dignity up and you do not break into tears but inwardly you are shocked and you can hear the little pieces of your heart crashing inside you like porcelain. You never did anything wrong to drive him away or did you? You did everything there is to sustain this relationship. You did not nag him even when you wanted to just do that, you put up with his weird habits and sexual fantasies- things that you swore to yourself you will never do. You showed up when he needed you when you’d rather be holed up in your house with an interesting book to read.
As you sit across that friend of a friend of his, you search your mind and you cannot find anything that you did or did not do to warrant this break up without prior notice of even a slight indication of it(I think people should give notices when they break up, something like “hey Betty next week we will be no more” Every woman can handle that). So you nod along as the friend of a friend of his describes his new girl and you wonder how people can be so insensitive. But wait a minute, this friend of a friend of his does not know that he was dating you! So you hold your horses and she goes blabbing about the wedding committee and the cost of the wedding and so on and so forth. During all this you are thinking of the future that you carefully planned with him, the house you were going to built, the children you were going to have and the ever happy life that you had even prepared for, emotionally. Somehow during this emotional internal turmoil and the blabbering of this friend, you get to know when and where the wedding will be and you begin your shrewd planning.
At first you resist the idea of revenge because God knows that you were brought up in the church by your mama and mama preached forgiveness, forgive your enemies so that your father in heaven will forgive your sins. That is what the holy book says. As much as you would want to respect your mama and live by the words of the Man above, you are hurting and this man does not deserve to go scot free. He deserves to know that you deserve better and at least he should have had the dignity to tell you that the relationship was not working. You finally make up your mind that he deserves to know that you were not happy about his leaving you out in the cold, without a word. You reason out that you deserve at least an explanation after four effing years of dating. Your challenge though is how to exert that revenge. You think of going to his place and pouring tomato sauce or soup on all his clothes. you think of trashing his house but wait a minute, you do not have a key to the new place that he had moved into a few weeks ago. You planned on getting the key but his silence coincided with the time you were supposed to get that key. You think of showing up at his place of work and giving a piece of your mind to him but you know that this will not work well. After all you are not that kind of a loud person to cause ruckus. Again you fear that people will likely mistake you for a mad woman and again you have never really been a woman who loves the attention, public spectacle disgusts you and you hate being the center of attention, and after all you were really never married, you were jut dating, but still you feel aggravated.
Weeks and days go by and his wedding day approaches and so does your rage boil. Eventually, you decide to show up for the wedding just to check out whether the new woman- his wife-to-be is hotter than you( how that is important at the moment does not register). Right now your mind isn’t working well, but you pray and hope she is uglier than you… how are you are going to tell that is difficult because everybody appears beautiful on their day of wedding thanks to the invention of make-up. A few days to the d-day an idea wedges itself on your mind, instead of showing up and making a spectacle, why don’t you send a present (gift) to the couple, a subtle gift that will remind him of your presence, of the future that will never be, of the broken heart that you will carry around with you for a while?
You carefully go looking for the healthiest looking rose flowers you can find, the white ones. He and you know that white roses are your favorite flowers. Once you find them, you let then dry and carefully place them in a gift box. A note of course has to accompany your gift, placed carefully inside. The note may read…May the fruit of this union wither like these roses…Cheers! You carefully wrap your gift and wait patiently for the wedding day. You will arrive early at the venue and sit quietly following the proceedings and as they declare their I do’s, you will smile secretly knowing that when he and his new wife sees your gift he will forever think of you or not!